Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hippo gnu deer
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
