WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
