You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
