I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
