Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
