I CAN MOONWALK!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
