so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
