She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize