hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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