I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
