Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize