please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
