I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
