I bet he comes in French.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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