when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
