No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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