Me. At least after what I've been through.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
