he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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