yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
