I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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