yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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