my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
