I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
ugly people sure do ruin things
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
