i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
