the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
