Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
