she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
