We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
