Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you had me at cake vodka
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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