im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
