:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
