Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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