He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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