Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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