I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He passed out mid-signature
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
