The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
