yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
