ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
