Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize