Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
