Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
