YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
