Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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