i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
