lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
