i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
