I didn't shave. On purpose
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
