his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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