Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
