Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
