Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
