The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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