im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize