youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
