I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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