You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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