Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
