Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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