she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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