we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
