if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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