Non-Jews are for practice
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
