Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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