Why are handjobs necessary in class?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
