i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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