he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
