where are you?
Hypothermia
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
