what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
