I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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