Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize