i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
