He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
