saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
